Crying as a Coping Mechanism

How crying helps me regulate my emotions in a better way

I have always been a big crier. I was the child who would tear up the second someone raised their voice, bulky teardrops building up at the corner of my eye, cheeks turning red, prepared to wail at the top of my voice.

Life feels so overwhelming when you’re born sensitive to every little itch in the palm that’s your little world––every scratch is a wound, and every pinch a shove.

But I have found a means of release to this encompassing feeling.

Crying as self-soothing

The Roman poet Ovid wrote:

“It is some relief to weep; grief is satisfied and carried off by tears.”

When I say self-soothing, I mean all the self-directed behaviours intended to calm a distressed individual. These behaviours, in particular, have a positive psychological response and diminish corresponding negative emotions.

As a self-soothing mechanism, crying has a list of health and psychological benefits. Though crying on someone’s shoulder is considered ideal, I, for one, have had moments where weeping in solitude has helped me express myself in the most lucid ways possible. It’s one slippery ground to walk on.

To get the most out of this emotional outlet, one succumbs to the most vulnerable places of their heart. You have to submit yourself to the child inside you that doesn’t understand the concept of holding back. Crying has to be raw. There is no other proper way to do it.

Once you learn how to cry with no bounds all alone, you will renounce judgment towards yourself. It becomes an act of self-acceptance, becoming one with your true self.

The idea of Catharsis

In Psychoanalytical theory, Catharsis refers to an emotional release.

It subsumes all experiences of relief resulting from expressing powerful emotions. Some cathartic acts can hence be crying, swearing, or acts of aggression.

However, it is essential for you to have control over how you express these emotions. Catharsis, when intentional, can be a wonderful thing to experience. When one tends to lose control of their feelings, even acts of emotional release like crying can feel hurtful and all hell breaks loose.

Crying has often changed the way I perceive situations by helping me look at them from a calmer state of mind. I look at crying as freeing up the convoluted space in my head, making room for more rationality, and with each tear, I sweep away the knot turning in my chest.

Having A Good Cry

Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain.

There is a reason why the films that make us cry also make us feel good. People love to vicariously live distressing situations that have a positive outcome in the end. We love to sit on an emotional rollercoaster, as long as it’s far, far away from our feelings.

But crying can be an effective response to grief. Heartbreak, death, and illness are inherently unfortunate things. And though crying won’t dissipate any of the pain one feels, it allows a slight reappraisal of situations. It helps with the healing, ever so little.

At times, grief can render us emotionless. People undergoing trauma can lose their ability to cry. In their scenarios, crying one’s eyes out is a significant sign of progress in their healing process.

Though most often associated with sadness, crying is more than a symptom of despair. It is a medium of self-expression, a way to deal with difficult situations, a reaction to the complexities of your life.

Crying, in itself, can be an avenue of recovery.